Oh, you old heart, you never die do you?

Somehow my restless mind brings me back to you in times of vulnerability, generally 3am weeknights, (or I guess mornings) when I have lost all self restraint. At least this time I am not directly contacting you. Last I heard you were no longer single, and interested in rekindling the old flame that we used to create together. I suppose I am no longer interested either. Although, if I move back (for work purposes) it would be interesting to run into you and see what sort of conversation comes out of the awkwardness.

Somehow I found my way on your old blog, you are an excellent writer, especially when you are heartbroken, so theres that. One positive thing to come out of all of this. we both made plenty of mistakes, it wasnt just you. we were both young, and stupid, and well, here we are, maybe still soul mates, but forever scared of each other because of our ast. we remember the good days more than the bad, which is great, but I left on the bus that last time because nothing had changed, i still felt an object of adornment, rather than a companion, these days, its quite the opposite. I suppose we all like feeling like a pretty new $100 dollar bill from time to time, and you maddame give that feeling freely. and whole heartedly.

My first love has a baby, and a husband, my first crush the same. My first true love has visited paris with another, and I feel more alone than ever. Scared of my nomad roots, and scared even to dumpster dive. how did this happen? how did I become so afriad. i dont even want to go swimming in a lake anymore because of the alligators. god damn florida. but meh, i just keep trecking along, getting older, i am trying not to feel sorry for myself, and I guess I dont, wish I knew more vocabulary to make my writing as beautiful as yours, but then i guess it wouldnt be mine anymore would it. I miss you sometimes, and zach, whoever he is, was right, with hims nomadic comments on your blog. annyway I just wanted to tell you that, even though i didnt say much, i think you know what i mean.

sincerely, worhala waged

Categories: Ideology and epiphanies | Tags: , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Oh, you old heart, you never die do you?

  1. Ron Pecan

    I’ve read several of your posts here, friend, and at first thought you an irrational young man, with dreams of “roughing it” in the 21st century. I read on, and changed that initial impression of you.
    I am also homeless, NOT by choice, but fortunate enough however, to have a reliable roof over my head.
    Food recipes for the homeless person brought me here- I’ll keep coming back now,to see how you are.

  2. Van

    Alligators…worry about the Burmese Pythons as well.

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