25 and what to show for it?

a quarter of a century old, and still at the same old routines, fascinated with history, like everything in my life, history, never new, never changing, stuck like the pages of a mildewed elementary school history book,, about the time I stopped creating, I seemed to have lost that ability, to think to create, to spark, to anything in my own light. 

 

Many people half my age progress further than I do, still looking for a 8$ an hour job, still changing majors, still fixing up the bullet dogger that got me cross country twice, and lord knows how many other places. I love the open road, but these days it only leads me down already traveled highways. To already conquered destinations. I wonder if this is how Christopher Columbus felt after America, how lance felt after his 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th and 7th tour de france, where do we go from here? how do we improve our constantly decaying brain cells before they all die out? 

I dont want to go on forever if all im doing is painting on the same fucking canvas, still titiling at the same piece of artwork 7 years later, where is the top of everest, im sick of being frostbit, im sick of getting snowed in, im ready for a revolution. 

But where do you find revolution in a deadbeat generation? Where 1’s and 0’s are more important than family values and playing outside on a trampoliene an activity which lately puts me out of breath. God im old, and yet, there are tons older than me, and they are still living, still creating, still giving life a chance, so why shouldnt I? 

Found a jones soda today, a block from my house at a convienence store run by a lovely middle aged Indian woman, she was very friendly, and was watching the sarah paulin riots where supporters of her were calling obama a terrorist. i hope he wins, and this country gets the kick in the mouth it deserves.

Until then I am working on a change. But where do you find revolution at 25? I dont know yet, but im out looking.

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Categories: Ideology and epiphanies | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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