Monthly Archives: February 2008

Fuck Katrina!!!

fuck katrina, fuck school shootings, fuck the war, fuck death, fuck life, fuck the fucking word fuck as the only word harsh enough to discribe the feeling of having to give up the one you love because you cant bring yourself to terms with the fact that life sucks sometimes, and theres nothing you can do about it. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck,

I hate being angry, i hate being sad, i hate being depressed, miserable, tired, and drooling away on this fucking mattress that smells like cigarettes, and all i want to do is sleep in the fetal position, i want you, i want to be with you, no i dont, yes i do, no i dont what the fuck? Im turning gray, what do i do? how do i turn my life around? im wasting away, i hate this i hate you, i love you, i hate myself for not loving you enough, i hate your ex for instigating the whole thing, for taking advantage, i should have known. Why didnt i see the red flags? what the fuck did i do wrong? I felt like shit, i feel like microwaved shit now, and whos fault is it but my own? fuck fucking fuck. what the fuck am i supposed to do but scream fuck all day long inside my head, i love you, i left you, i told you to go to hell, and i will never get to take that back as long as i fucking live. Ive been waiting for your call, and all the while youve been waiting for mine, im sorry, but ive been going mad with anxiety, ive been pacing so much my trench has cut clear to china, and oddly enough theres no ramen down there. what the fuck china? where the hell is the ramen?

aint nothing going right these days……

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Categories: Ideology and epiphanies | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Its raining in Iraq (circa 2005)

Its raining in Iraq

As i sit here in the rain,
cold and shivering,
my mind takes me from this staircase where i lay

i hear the not so distant bratt tatt tatt of scattered gunfire
as a unit is training to deploy.
even here, in the middle of nowhere georgia
the sounds of war consume me

as the rounds pierce my brain,
i wonder if there is some unfortunate soul
whose boots are filled with hatred, lies, confusion, deceit,
some young kid, some old man some, blond haired blue eyed queen
who misses his mother, his daughters, her prom king

not all soldiers want to be over there,
not all soldiers know why we are fighting.
not all soldiers have the courage to stand up to their chain of command,
not all soldiers have the audacity to defend peace while rounds are whizzing past their sand blasted face.

they come home,
no one understands their thoughts, their nightmares
their daydreams
who will take care of these troops
who dont understand why they fear children, dogs,
spare tires on the side of the streets
who will hold their hand as they hessitantly inch down the busy streets
where their fellow countrymen argue we have no buisness over there,
the troops are a disgrace.

who will win this war?
what difference does it make?
what will we think of human beings tomorrow morning?

Categories: Ideology and epiphanies | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

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