Sonic the Hedgehog visits New Jersey

Recently I had the uneasy pleasure to drive through new jersey in some good company of a guy named high Life, who was homeward bound to hike the lower half of the crisp clean appalachian trail. We both were rudely interupted in a discussion of the wonders of the rgreat outdoors of the apt, by buckets of sludgey brown acid rain bombarding my windsheild, and thats when it hit us. New Jersey was the future past and present of Corporate America. Not to sound like a tree hugging hippy or anything, but when we looked around and saw endless horrizons of oil refineries with their black smog stacks, and natrual gas burn offs with mile high flames bursitng out of rusted souless pipes, and my co-pilot pointed out Jersey is where 90% of the countries artificial flavoring comes from. I wondered if thats what countless american insides look like. From the polluted foods we eat, liquids we refresh our worn out decaying bodies with, to the air we fill our shreaking lungs with second after second. Is New Jersey with its seas of garbage dumps where NYC tosses its trash so it doesnt have to look at all the waste it produces, and its putrid urin drenched air, and grumbling inhabitants, the real america? Or is the Appalacian trail?

I was at the Mall of America the other day, and as i walked around the 5 or so miles of stores begging people to consume their worthless merchandise, i paid no attention to solicitors, but rather the customers aimelessly being pulled into these horrid sweat shops. These consumers were physically disabled, mangled, undefined, and no longer symetric, Literally. There must have been a gang of fetal alcohol syndrom children on a feild trip to this adventurous shopping complex. I was disgusted. Not with the distorted confused bodies of these children, but with new jersey. I couldnt help but think back to all that shit being pumped out of those midevil factories and into the enviornment. Chernobyl was a disastor yes, but it was a one time occurrance, Sure its effects linger today, but they are ever curroding with time. New Jersey on the other hand is still as vibrant as it probably was when Upton Sinclaire Wrote the Jungle.

sonic1
Perhaps sonic the hedgehog was trying to reach his teenage audiance in the mid 90’s when he traveled from appropriately the APT level (or emerald hill zone) sonic2 in sonic two where everything was crisp and clean and friendly, sonic3
to the New Jersey level appropriately titeled oil ocean zone which was filled with toxic waste barrels,sonic4 dangerous oil drains, sonic6 and an intense polluted skyline which appropriately mirrored New Jerseys own polluted skyline. I never put two and two together untill I saw those children at the Mall of America.

Is it worth it new jersey? Is it worth it America? After all money is nothing but a note, and means nothing to those children who no longer can live normal lives thanks to me and you.

sonic7

Categories: Ideology and epiphanies | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Sonic the Hedgehog visits New Jersey

  1. I’m sorry that you missed this part of new jersey:

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