Where do I take a you know what?

Well friends, there are a million 0places for you to take a dump or a pee. (Unless your in NYC). Ladies you think you cant take a squat like guys do, but in all honesty, you just think you cant do it. When you see a hooker pop a squat in an alley, and be perfectly content with it, you know you can do anything. After all when you have got to go, you have got to go. And why should you hold it?

In South Korea people squat regardless. They are trained to do it. They even have squatters made for that thing. There is no comforting cold toilet seat to sit on. Ive taken a dump like this several times when there was no other place to go. What can you dodo? Just make sure you always have some sort of toilet paper on you. If you dont have the money for toilet paper, snatch up some napkins form any random restaurant you may visit. Really any store with a bathroom is subject to having free TP. Or something of the equivalent.

Dont be ashamed you have to poop, its a part of life. Do your thing and be done with it.

Guys i dont need to tell you where you can pee. Ive seen guys pee in alleyways, off rooftops, off boats, on cars, out car windows, in bottles, you name it, they have done it. Especially when they are drinking. But ladies, its not as easy for you is it? I suppose you could carry around a funnel to direct your flow better, but thats up to you. Since i cant really say much about you, any ideas from the estrogen family would be highly appreciated.

When it comes to places to use public bathrooms, you have the usual. Libraries, fast food joints, grocery stores (yes they have them always you just have to look for them, sometimes go in the back through the employee doors like i did yesterday) shopping malls, super-centers, public parks, schools, and the list goes on.

My favorite bathrooms are handicapped bathrooms, cause you can do so many things in there. Shower in the sinks, poop, read, sleep, procreate, its very private. The possibilities are endless.

Categories: Methods that work | Tags: , , , , | 11 Comments

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11 thoughts on “Bathrooms

  1. so fare I was into you but you’ve gone too far !!!!

  2. And I’m not JOKING

  3. Lunar

    I’m a female and when I have to pee, I pee in a long necked bottle (like a soda bottle). I put it as close to my special area as possible (if you find this bottle somewhere on the street, clean it first!) I pee as slow as possible to make sure it gets directed into the bottle.
    When finish, dilute with water and pour on some trees (extra nitrogen) or cap and throw away.

  4. KrofGninut

    You are incredibly irresponsible. When you make a mess and/or hog the bathroom, you become unwelcome. When you become unwelcome, all hobos pay for it through increased discrimination.

    Please stop salting the earth behind you, so to speak.

  5. j.

    Wow, i can’t stop laughing! In fact, i’m not even gonna go here (no pun either)!! Lmao!

  6. Angel

    Unfortunately, I have been there..homeless that is and never by choice. Thankfully I never had need to go poo outside unless camping and that is completely different. Once and only once I had to pee outside in a city. Talk about humiliating. I found a place I could hide my entire body and made sure no one was around. For the id-gits out there who don’t seem to realize this is a body function no one can stop from happening. When you are homeless, nothing is open that has a toilet and you have no car to get to one….well when you gotta go, you gotta go.

  7. Hawklover

    Buy or find a newspaper. Fold out one section on the ground. Poop on it. Use a quarter sheet to clean up with. Fold up the news paper into a nice package and drop into the nearest trash can. Leaves no mess. Not much different than tossing a loaded diaper.

  8. Vanessa

    A feminine way of peeing. I wish I could post a picture of the cheap shower hose you can buy (sometimes even at a dollar store) for a few dollars. It has a fairly long vinyl rubber hose, with a soft rubber cup at one end and a plastic shower head at the other. The soft rubber cup is designed to fit snuggly over a faucet. Pull off the plastic shower head, it will only complicate things. Carefully press the soft rubber cup over your urethra and allow a small stream to come out to check your positioning, if there are no drips then release the rest, there is no need to pee slowly. The convenience of this method is that you can pee standing up if you have to. Have water ready and immediately rinse through the hose, have baby wipes for yourself, and alcohol towelettes to clean the soft rubber cup. A friend of mine and I drove to and from Vancouver Island, Canada, in a van… made many stops at Tim Hortons all the way. I came up with this idea because I didn’t want to have to get out and go behind the van and get caught in someones headlights, or get mauled by a bear or something. I was a pro at sitting on the edge of my seat and hanging the hose out the door, and the door only had to be open a few inches. The trick is rinsing the hose with water without spilling water! Anyways, it meant I could pee at night and feel safe, and it also meant that him and I could stand by a bush and pee together. 🙂

  9. Vanessa

    P.S. I hear a question. Why not just pee at Tim Hortons? Well, if you’ve ever driven across Canada with only one licensed driver in the vehicle, and no extra money for restaurants/motel rooms etc. Your choice is to drive as long as you can between campgrounds. Your driver may also have to pull over into one of the many rest areas along the way to sleep, and the next Tim Horton’s might be hours, or even a day’s drive away. These rest areas are very beautiful by day, but soooo dark at night, and you might be surrounded in acres of dense woods with owls, racoons, wolves, moose, skunks and bears. As a woman who is both a scaredy cat in the dark, and a total germophobe when it comes to the highly unrecommended public outhouses, I found the hose idea to be a life saver. Cheers.

  10. Ginge

    As a woman, I pee in the woods or in a cup. Forget trying to guide it into a dang bottle! I use napkins & I never throw them on the ground. I look for a trash & dispose of them there. As far as poopin’ goes, we lived in a trailer & unfortunately couldn’t afford a campground to hook up water & sewer to. So, we placed a plastic bag in the toilet bowl, sat down & did our duty, err, doodie. all toilet wipes went in to that bag, tied it up & threw it in the trash. It doesn’t take a lot of brainpower to figure out how to take a crap. If you have no plastic bag, dig a dang hole & then cover it over when you’re done so nobody else accidently steps in it.

  11. Here is a new one for women – freezer bags. Never had one leak, wide opening, and can be zipped shut and put in the trash. I wouldn´t try turning em upside down though.

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