Cops

Never ever consider a weary cop a friend. Cops hate homeless people, and I think its due to the nature of their job. Cops are not hired to protect people, their job is to protect private property. Therefore homeless do not own private property, and are scum deamed to be fucked with for this fact. The best thing you can do to an inquisitive cop is approach them first with legit blue collar question. “Can you tell me where the nearist bank is? I need to make a deposit.” “Where is the best mechanic shop arround?” these type of questions establish you as a worthy citizen of society, and generally the cop will change their mind about you in an instant. Cops are tools. They are nto your friend, but dont make them your enemy. If you anger a cop, you are lible to have a miserable time. So kiss their ass, and be polite, then take your frustrations out on a pillow as soon as they leave. Because although you can learn alot of useful street information in jail, you most likely dont want to be in there.

***Tips that will keep you out of jail.

1) Do your best to avoid going out in public intoxicated or high. If you get hassled and you are all messed up, your chances of going to jail are increased 10 fold.

2) DO NOT RUN!!!! Never ever ever in any circumstances run from a cop. This will do a number of things. a) Make the cop want to chase you. They live for that stuff. They dream of chasing criminals. Thats what they joined the force to do. b) make you look suspicious. why else would you run unless you have something to hide? c) increase your chances of being arrested or detained in handcuffs. you may be fast, but cops have instant radio communications. And you may outrun one cop, but there is another cop waiting for you in every direction. They absolutely love to chase suspects. And once they catch you d) your chances of getting hurt in an arrest increase. as now the pigs adrinelin is pumping, and all those drills they go through day after day, of taking suspects and manhandeling them to the ground, and kicking the shit out of them, for making the cop chase them come out of their pores. e) lessen your chances of coming away scott free. Even if you were doing something illegal, or have contraband on your person, DO NOT RUN!!! You will have a better chance of getting off if you dont run. (In and out of court)

3) Dont give in. (And shut the fuck up) Cops are trained in pressuring suspects into thinking the cops know the suspect was doing something illegal. Truth is, unless you are positive they saw you, they are most likely just suspicious (since that is their job to investigate suspicious activity) and investigating either a call or they drove by and saw you and had that gut feeling you were up to no good. Dont let them search your things if you have something illegal in there. If they do anyway, or tell you they will take you to jail if you dont, let them take you to jail. If they search it without your permission, you can bust them with illegal search and seizure. Which can toss your case out in court. (sometimes they are really good at pressuring and will threaten you will all sorts of things. I.E. jail, detainment, brute force, etc.) Also, if you are toating something illegal, weapons, drugs, lots of money etc. whatever you do double check your shit all the time to make sure its not showing. If a cop stops you and your bag is open and he sees what appears to be weed, and smells it on you, he now has probable cause, and is legally allowed to search and sieze your shit, and bust you for it. (AND HE WILL)

4) KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT IN THE OPEN AT ALL TIMES!!!! Never under any circumstances do anything without asking the officer for permission to do so. You have to get your id out of your glove box or backpack, first tell the cop where it is, then ask him if you can get it out of there, and allow him to watch you do so. The last thing you want to do is put a cop on edge. They will shoot if threatened, and noone wants a bullet in the lung because they neglected to ask for permission to retrive an id card.

5) Always address the law as such, “Yes officer” “no sir, i wasnt doing drugs” “may i get my id card out of my console?”  “Im not from around here officer, I got lost, can you tell me which way is ….?” etc. Sucking up to the pigs gets you on their good side. And once you are on their good side, they come down off their high horse, (most of them) and treat you like an everyday citizen.

Most people dont know this, but cops have a quota not only for tickets every month (to pay for christmas bonuses and such), but also citizen support write offs. Every month the office dictates how many times a cop must actively help citizens in need, its a sort of good guy cop appeal to the law abiding citizens to help establish the force as more of an approachable berring between good and evil. For example, if you get aflat tire, a cop can stop and assist you, and write it off as one of these citizen assist tickets. If you are lost, ask for directions form a cop. They can write it off. It is manditory in most cop stations, and by twisting a situation arround you can actually help the cop out, in which case they may let you off. (for example, you are walking around at night in a downtown city street. Tell the cop you are trying to catch a cab, but couldnt find a payphone. Trying to get to a certain street, a hotel anything. And they will automatically let down their guard.

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Categories: Methods that work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Cops

  1. I leaned lone ago to look like ever one or look so outrageous no one looks at you

  2. Starving Artist

    The “asking for directions” gambit works really well for me.

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