Monthly Archives: September 2007

3:10 to Yuma

yuma poster
never too impressed with movies these days, thanks to lack of plot, and nothing but strutting off stupid cg, and superstars, I walked in not expecting much out of 3:10 to Yuma. However, I was utterly astounded. There was little to no gore, nothing you wouldhave nightmares about anyway, little swearing, plenty of moral principles, a side with the rebal kindof movie, where you sit clenched fisted and grinding your teeth the whole way through. Not to ruin the ending for anyone looking to see this film, it was just refresshing to see an actual movie with some meat on it. It was a modern day spaghetti western, and I loved it. It was intense, and you had no idea where it was going to go, It came out of left feild, and to be honest, i think its the best film ive seen in a long time. I mean it was nothing special, and ill probaqbly never see it again, but it was a relief form box office blockbusters, it didnt need a punch line, or a band following, or tv spots, it just needed you to sit down and watch it. I had dreams of being a rebal cowboy last night, and i probably sized up my pillow in my sleep. You should go see this movie and appriciae good solid filmmaking.

two thumbs up. This film gives me hope for the future of filmaking. Someone needed to take film back to its roots.

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Sonic the Hedgehog visits New Jersey

Recently I had the uneasy pleasure to drive through new jersey in some good company of a guy named high Life, who was homeward bound to hike the lower half of the crisp clean appalachian trail. We both were rudely interupted in a discussion of the wonders of the rgreat outdoors of the apt, by buckets of sludgey brown acid rain bombarding my windsheild, and thats when it hit us. New Jersey was the future past and present of Corporate America. Not to sound like a tree hugging hippy or anything, but when we looked around and saw endless horrizons of oil refineries with their black smog stacks, and natrual gas burn offs with mile high flames bursitng out of rusted souless pipes, and my co-pilot pointed out Jersey is where 90% of the countries artificial flavoring comes from. I wondered if thats what countless american insides look like. From the polluted foods we eat, liquids we refresh our worn out decaying bodies with, to the air we fill our shreaking lungs with second after second. Is New Jersey with its seas of garbage dumps where NYC tosses its trash so it doesnt have to look at all the waste it produces, and its putrid urin drenched air, and grumbling inhabitants, the real america? Or is the Appalacian trail?

I was at the Mall of America the other day, and as i walked around the 5 or so miles of stores begging people to consume their worthless merchandise, i paid no attention to solicitors, but rather the customers aimelessly being pulled into these horrid sweat shops. These consumers were physically disabled, mangled, undefined, and no longer symetric, Literally. There must have been a gang of fetal alcohol syndrom children on a feild trip to this adventurous shopping complex. I was disgusted. Not with the distorted confused bodies of these children, but with new jersey. I couldnt help but think back to all that shit being pumped out of those midevil factories and into the enviornment. Chernobyl was a disastor yes, but it was a one time occurrance, Sure its effects linger today, but they are ever curroding with time. New Jersey on the other hand is still as vibrant as it probably was when Upton Sinclaire Wrote the Jungle.

sonic1
Perhaps sonic the hedgehog was trying to reach his teenage audiance in the mid 90’s when he traveled from appropriately the APT level (or emerald hill zone) sonic2 in sonic two where everything was crisp and clean and friendly, sonic3
to the New Jersey level appropriately titeled oil ocean zone which was filled with toxic waste barrels,sonic4 dangerous oil drains, sonic6 and an intense polluted skyline which appropriately mirrored New Jerseys own polluted skyline. I never put two and two together untill I saw those children at the Mall of America.

Is it worth it new jersey? Is it worth it America? After all money is nothing but a note, and means nothing to those children who no longer can live normal lives thanks to me and you.

sonic7

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Rainy Day

I was bored for the first time in a long time today, i dont know why, maybe im getting sick, im tired alot, i was having heat flashes, but all i wanted to do was lay down in my back seat and nap. It rained, a good rain, maybe thats why im so tired, like a cow, when they lay down you know, i was supposed to go diving with someone i met off of craigslist, but i doubt thats going to happen now, all i can do is lay here and stare at the raindrops hitting my back window, and watch for two raindrops to hit the exact same spot on the window.

I looked over and saw a squirrel sleeping the rain out on a tree branch next to me, and i knew how he felt. There isnt much for us scavengers to do in the rain but wait it out in shelter. Im hungry but what can i do about it when its raining, and staying dry is more important. Ill find food later i suppose. Even if all the dumpsters are going to be soaked. maybe ill beg for food. who knows. I suppose i should read a book or something.

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average day

nothing to interesting going on today, loafing around in minneapolis, applied for a job at a beet harvest in western minnesota, and am going to go to the mall of america in a few mins to look for food left out by sloppy patrons in the food court. Hopefully i can find an internet connection there, but who knows. Ive been sleeping pretty well in my car, its nice out now, but i got to move south soon before the cold of fall hits. I hope i get this beet harvest job, but its not looking to good. I need ot get my tags renewed, but im sure its gonna cost me a fortune, and im not looking forward to it. I dont have an address, so im not sure what state i should apply for a tag in. I guess florida.

I put an ad in craigslist last night asking anyone to let me use their shower, as i have been getting smelly, skateboarding in a free park all day, got some responses, but havent contacted any of them yet. On e was a creepy old man, two were college women, and another woman offered me tea and a shower. I think im going to put this ad in everywhere i go, and just see who i meet.

im kindof hungry, so i guess i better go over to the mall, i hope i dont make a mistake, which i do sometimes, and wind up going someplace looking for food, and cant get any there wasitng all my day looking for food, and starving. Sometimes you just cant find food, no matter how hard you try.

I took a shower in a sink in a handycap bathroom today, snuck in an underground tunnel below a college gym, ate some of my emergency rations which i hate doing, but when you cant find food anywhere else, what are you supposed to do? starve? im currently stealing internet from a bagle shop next door, powering up from an outlet in a bank lobby. its hard to find power, free wi-fi on the other hand is everywhere. but power is hard to come by.

the weather has been nice, mid 60’s and sunny, so im starting to get weary, as i know its going to suck soon. so im off to the mall of america, maybe i can get back online there.

end transmission

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Driving

I dont know what it is about the open road that is so romantic, then again, I suppose I do.
The lonelyness takes over,
the excitement drives you,
the oppertunities of a fresh start in a new place you have never been,
driving1
the anxieities,
the sunrises,
sunset
the sunsets,
the tunnels!
tunnel
I love the tunnels!
The scenery,
nyc drivinng
the isolation,
the connection when you smile at another driver
in the bubble they call a car in the lane next to you.
friends in the passinng lane

Drivinng is liberation at its finest.
It is as much a part of being free as anything in this world.
I represents change.
It represents moving forward, and never looking back.
It is unfortunately an integral part of being homeless,
constantly being on the move,
driving2
as you can only mooch on the same community for so long
before you have to find alternative shelter in another town.

Driving is birth,
death,
rebirth,
a cycle,
as the tires rotate,
like the key turns the ignition.
big truck

I love driving as much as i hate it,
openroad
and its something I hope I never have to be
more than an arms length from.
daydreaming about my car

When you get old they take your liscense,
penguin driver
getting old is dying before youre due date.
I never want to live past 45.
Im going to be eaten by a bear in the wilderness.
eaten by a bear
I got it all planned out.
That is… if there are any bears left by then.

Who is ready for a road trip?
oncar2

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John Brown inspired me, how about you?

Im sitting here at the base of the armory where john brown raided in Harper’s Ferry West Virginia. how do you explain the eery feeling of “can do” feeling you get from a place like this? Anyone can pretend to be a revolutionary, but when you are oppressed for so long so brutally, it can only be a matter of time before you too have to pick up the gun (be it physical or mental) and say you know what?ive had enough of this. I want something different, and i dont care how i am to get it.

what must it have felt like to know you were going up against the devil? What was running through John Browns mind, everyone who was with him, backing him, they all knew they would die, they all knew the stakes, they were out to change the world for their children, how must they have felt sneaking around those mountainns above Harpers Ferry? Sneaking around them myself I caught a glimpse of John Brown and his men, and chills ran down my spine.
caves around harpers ferry
sneaking around to descend upon harpers ferry
above harpers ferry
harpers ferry

strange as it may seem as unfashionable as i did pick up a book on john brown, not knowing who he was, i stumbled upon his turf in the same clumsy manor. But on both occassions i leave feeling inspired, like i can do anything. Who is your john brown?

p.s. thank you high life, (my latest hitchhiker) for inspiring me to hike the Appalachian trail, how ever you spell it. I promise i will follow in yours and countless others footsteps someday. There is no doubt in my mind. Anything is possible. Thanks again john brown.

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Bathrooms

Where do I take a you know what?

Well friends, there are a million 0places for you to take a dump or a pee. (Unless your in NYC). Ladies you think you cant take a squat like guys do, but in all honesty, you just think you cant do it. When you see a hooker pop a squat in an alley, and be perfectly content with it, you know you can do anything. After all when you have got to go, you have got to go. And why should you hold it?

In South Korea people squat regardless. They are trained to do it. They even have squatters made for that thing. There is no comforting cold toilet seat to sit on. Ive taken a dump like this several times when there was no other place to go. What can you dodo? Just make sure you always have some sort of toilet paper on you. If you dont have the money for toilet paper, snatch up some napkins form any random restaurant you may visit. Really any store with a bathroom is subject to having free TP. Or something of the equivalent.

Dont be ashamed you have to poop, its a part of life. Do your thing and be done with it.

Guys i dont need to tell you where you can pee. Ive seen guys pee in alleyways, off rooftops, off boats, on cars, out car windows, in bottles, you name it, they have done it. Especially when they are drinking. But ladies, its not as easy for you is it? I suppose you could carry around a funnel to direct your flow better, but thats up to you. Since i cant really say much about you, any ideas from the estrogen family would be highly appreciated.

When it comes to places to use public bathrooms, you have the usual. Libraries, fast food joints, grocery stores (yes they have them always you just have to look for them, sometimes go in the back through the employee doors like i did yesterday) shopping malls, super-centers, public parks, schools, and the list goes on.

My favorite bathrooms are handicapped bathrooms, cause you can do so many things in there. Shower in the sinks, poop, read, sleep, procreate, its very private. The possibilities are endless.

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Comforting corporate america?

Is it strange that sometimes as much as i hate seeing the degradation of ours, and any other culture by these stagnate square, lacking aesthetic, super-centers which seem to spring up out of the ground like weeds, I also feel a sort of comfort knowing I can survive off of their waste?

As much as we hate them we cant seem to stay away form them. They are everywhere. Convenience, or magnetism due to lack of other choices?

Sure small businesses are dandy, but they dont produce nearly the waste these looming corporations can in such a short amount of time. My face lights up when i see a CVS or a K-mart because I know pretty much any day of the week, any time of the month i can find what i need from their trash.

In the same token, this is also gut wrenching news that we are producing this much waste, and I rarely see fellow scavengers diving this loot. So where is it all going you ask? Ide imagine your tap water knows better than you do. Maybe you should do some investigating. In all honesty i think it all goes to Jersey. That state smells like urine and trash. And it looks like it smells.

In the end, the entire planet is being consumed (no pun intended) by this subculture of conglomerates which suck dry any ethnic sincerity, and its a shame to see things turning into this monochrome state in all corners of the planet, but it puts a temporary smile on my face like the sting of a heroin needle. How do we rid ourselves of this drug? How do we ween ourselves off this consumerist society where we force ourselves to buy, to use, to trash things we dont need to survive? All i know is im hungry, and theres a CVS right around the corner.

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Unfortunately….

Some days being homeless and pennyless means you have to wander around to look for food. Some days are better than others, like the past week in boston i have had no trouble finding food. But today, it seemed no matter where i looked and how hard i tried i couldnt find hardly anything. Go figure. Some day sare liek that. On the days you find food easily, utilize the rest of your day wisely. On the days that you cant find food at all, best keep looking. Its out there, but sometimes its just harder to come by than others.

On a side note, i watched some fantastic charismatic street performers today who loved their job, and made a killing. probably more than you make in a day, these cats made in half an hour, and they really didnt do anything too hard. they were just very professional, and made lots of stay in school keep off drugs dont try thiis at home refferences. Alot depends on the crowd, but alot also depends on how you play off the crowd. Nobody likes being made the butt of a joke, so keep jokes clean, and encourage people with a big smile and you are bound to get paid way more for your performance no matter how good or bad you are at it. I want to start breakdancing for money, but i have to work on my game a bit more.

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The best thing about being jobless…

The best thing about being jobless is the idea that you have no place to be. You are free to wander at all hours of the day and night, anywhere you please. Have you ever drifted into a classical music audition before? Breathtaking. If you are interested check out any major school and wander into the music department. You can sit outside any number of musical instraments, and talents, and nobody cares that you are there. You can close your eyes and imagine anything the music makes you think of. And why not? Whats stopping you? Nothing. get a backpack and you look like a student. Bring a book, and pretend to be reading it. Anything that makes you feel more comfortable about incroaching on some of the finest musical talent there is.

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Urban exploring nightmare

So prancing around downtown boston tonight, all i could think about was how much i would really love to find an unopened soda. Coke would have been nice but any soda would have sufficed. Im not sure why, but i was just jonesing for a soda. Perhaps it was because all i have been finding lately is americanized pizza. Dumpstered pizza, meatball subs, that sort of thing. Itll make you crave a coke like you wouldnt believe.

Walking down up and around i notice a scaffolding where construction is being done on an old 4 story building. Hmm i say, as i decide it seems safe to hop up it and take a look around.

Once inside, i realized this was no ordinary house, it had several stories and nooks and cranies, and while i should have taken some pictures all i could think of was that s. king movie rose red.

i wandered downstairs thinking this is the stuff silly people tell you not to do from the audiance at b rate horror movie flicks, but i tell myslef this is real life, and there is nothing to worry about. The place is light up real nice with construction worker flood lights all over so i venture down to the basement. This place is a mansion, Gold boarders deep green wallpaper, fancy you know. High sealings, even in the basement. Huge bay windows, several kitchens, the works. I spot some blood on the floor. (yes blood.) liek someone cut their finger on the job and i follow the drip trail to a dead end. Now i think its time to head back upstairs. So i do, but i decide before i leave im going to look for a coke and a mini fridge. I stumble around to the left side of the house, and find an office, as i go to approach i hehar a voice. (aw shit! im caught! I could get charged with breaking and entering, and who knows what that will mean.)

Fortunately the man thinks he is hearing a ghost, after all its like 130 in the am. so i quietly hid behind the nearest door to scope out the danger. Figures im trapped. Hes almost right in front of me. I can hear him talking about how he thinks he just heard a ghost, and he seems kindof nervous, and is mumbling really creepy like, but i have to do something. do i wait for a while and hope he goes to sleep or do i make a run for it, and hope i dont get caught or break a leg on the uneven floor. Shit. what to do what to do. i decide ill creep past him, then split the place.

i try it. creeeek goes the floorboards, by now my heart is racing a mile a min. forget having a coke, i just want to get out of there! so i just walk on past like nothing suspicious, and i make it back out to the scafolding, safe and sound, i jump off it onto the pavement, and walk on down the street thankful i wasnt sent to jail.

and what do you know starbucks has left me a bag of goodies, some cookies. I deserve it. I dont know for what, but what the hell. I deserve it.

dont try this at home kids.

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Higher Education

So we all know. its been preached down our throuats form birth. “In order to get a good job you must have some form of higher education under your belt” “higher education will provide your faimly with food on the table and a nice house to live in” “the only way to be somebody, is through higher education” and for those of us who think, we know its a load of crap.

The higher education system is a buisness. A rather profitable one at that.97% of all the crap you are forced to learn about, (higher level science, literature analysis, and so on is meaningless, and other than the fact that if you become a leading expert in BS you cant make a living off of this stuff. Well, i suppose oyu could, but if there were a nuclear hollocost and all technology was destroyed, and people had to fend for themselves, how long would these people who devote their lives to researching molecular enginering be able to survive?

As i was strolling through harvard yard last night on a bike, a security cop stoped me and told me to walk it. At 1:30am on a friday night there was no-one but a few dumb rich harvard kids far off in the distance carrying a couple of pizzas and beer back to their high end dorm rooms, and he told me I had to walk my bike because he didnt want any accidents. Really he didnt want the lawsuit that would ensue and deduct some precious income from one of the most expensive universities in the nation.

The strange thing is, the week before, along the same path in harvard yard, i stumbled upon a homeless young black woman cuddeling her 5 year old sleeping son, weary and observant, huddled up against one of the many vaccent buildings along the yard owned by the schoo, not being used for anything but asthetics, and higher level academia. Why couldnt this woman enter the building, and use it for what it should have been constructed for? protection from the elements. Oh yeah, because she didnt pay thousands of dollars to learn meaningless BS that wouldnt keep her alive any longer than her current situation outside of that campus.

Its interesting to note, the world famous leftist nom chompsky works for harvard. One of my friends told me hes very approachable, and loves talking to students. But i wonder what is one of the leading extreame liberals doing teaching at such a prestigious school where just about nobody can get in outside of predominately rich white collar old money faimlies? If i had met chompsky, i would have only had that question to ask him. And i hope his answer would have been for the money, because I dont know any other reason that would have quenched my thirst on the matter.

If Nom Chompsky can teach at harvard, why cant he teach on the side of the street? Wouldnt that be more approachable to the people hes claiming to be working for

We have all seen the beauty of america at work, where someone with no educational background goes form scum to a millionare with nothing more than good people skills, and an attractive idea that does something useful for the people they are in buisness to serve. Why then must we believe higher education and all its stress through endless bills, and binge drinking and social interaction through disguised public interest groups a.k.a. greek frats should be the key to our lives?

Why are there more people in debt today than ever before? Why dont we have more social interaction and sex education and drug education classes shoot more drivers ed classes would be nice. But do away with this menial crap that has nothing to do with living. At least get rid of the entire freshman year. Even though we all know thats where you make the majority of your money. It is worthless.

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life is merely an everlasting series of cyclic volutions…

In a lengthy discussion with a friend today over a gluttonous dinner at an all you can eat casino buffet, we determined life is mearly a cecession of repeating volutions…
evolution, revolution, devolution, and back to evolution again.

for example, this current world has evolved from pond scum to its present modern day society through revolutions in science sociology and nature, and is currently in the process of devolution through destruction of life sustaining raw materials. Once this devolution occurs life will have to be rebuilt from pond scum scratch once again. Tis a process of the volutions.

the universe has been speculated to being connected through molicules, which have to remain attached in order to function at all as anything and therefore it has been theorized that the universe is the same as a giant elastic band stretching to its tipping point in which some day it will tip and implode upon itsself creatinng the devolutionary process of rebirth by crushing itsself into a giant bomb which will explode upon formation to recreate the universe once again startinng over within the evolutionary process.

if this is true, it is possibel that the universe has big banged several times already and that there has been numerous life sustaining formations created and destroyed in the process.

makes me wonder if dejavu is in fact just the cognic rememberance of previous cycles of life rather than irrational misfires in the brain.

if these cycles, for lack of a better term, have been occurring continuously for all eternity, whos to say life isnt merely the sustainment of molecular energy by biomatter? and that reincarnation is actually occurring every second of every day? it may not be the utopian reincarnation we are led to believe in church and school, but none the less it is the transfer of molecular energy within the biomatter atmosphere.

so for example, a person dies, their molecular life sustaining energy decomposes and becomes fertile soil transfering into say a tree within which the tree uses that energy to grow, and produce fuel for another human in the form of a fruit, which in turn becomes a part of that human who will also in turn die and become decaying energy for a new tree. its logically plausable is it not?

to be continued….

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Gas

No, not what beans give you. Gas.

Its probably the most expensive thing you will need to find along the way.

There used to be a method of collecting small amounts of gas form shut off hoses at local gas stations, (and probably still are in small towns) You just squeeze the pump, and out comes some excess gas that had been trapped in the pipes since it was shut off. I have tried this to no avail, but who knows.

Once in a while you can find gas, but be careful its not kerosene or something mixed with gas. I found a 5 gallon gas tank full once in a parking lot. Apparently someone put it down then drove off. More for me.

You can siphin gas, but this is technically stealing. So its up to your morals. You insert a tube preferrably plastic into anothers gas tank, and suck on it till gas starts spouting out. Put the tube in a bucket or your tank, and fill till both are equal. (got this from abbie hoffman, but have never tried it)

Apparently you can just ask people for gas. I haven’t tried it yet, but soon i may have to, i heard from a friend all you have to do is approach people at gas stations tell them you are trying to get back to someplace, (insert sob story) and they will give you gas. Said he made a roundtrip cross country vacation out of free gas.

friend…”go to a chuch, say you ran out of gas down the street and you have no money. my church has special coins they give out for the gas station down the street, so that they know your only getting gas. try it.

hell, they will probally feed you too.” – phortyzz

Im offerring rideshares all over the country. I base my destinations on where other people want to go, and make due when i get there. This saves me a ton on gas money as i make them pay for it, or most of it, i make new friends, they get where they need to go, and for cheeper than a bus train plane etc. and in better company. Try offering rideshares where you are headed. Not only does this save you money on gas but its better for the environment, by carpooling.

Categories: Methods that work | 5 Comments

Safe places to sleep

Some places are more safe than others. Trust your gut, and what others tell you. The best place to sleep is in a house in a bed. We all know that. But you dont have a house, and most likely dont have a bed.

Therefore, check out couchsurfing.com to find a friendly bed near you. You may hve to do some serious asking multitudes of people, after all its a free site, hosted by people with lives of their own. So try it first. If you cant get a place on there….

You can try local community shelters. However shelters are often filled with the homeless people who are homeless because of outside circumstances. Most of these people are lovely people to chat with, but some are paranoid, drunk, theives. So hold onto your valuables tightly.

If you have a car, this is also another very safe method, contrary to popular belief. The most hassle you may have to deal with is construction in the morning waking you up, or an occassional cop making sure you are not dead, or taking up a private spot. As for where to sleep in your car, wal-mart parking lots are great, you can use the bathrooms 24 hours a day, and there is security as well, and usually a bunch of other people sleeping in their cars / motor homes around you. if you cant find a lot like this, you can sleep at bus / train stations, churches, apartment complexes, houses that are up for sale and vacant, and the list goes on. I dont recommend parking garages, or private lots, as you might be woken up by the sound of a tow truck hauling your car away, who may still charge you even though you are in your car.

If you dont have a car, the best thing to do is sleep during the day, and move at night. You can sleep in public parks with no hassle, (yes even central park) landromats, libraries (sometimes), beaches, college campuses, the subway, the bus, the bus stop, behind buildings, rooftops, ect.

At night its a different story. I have seen people sleep in multitudes of places, some out in the open, some hidden very well. Most people who do sleep at night find places off the beaten path where their likely hood of being spotted by cops or other bums or college kids looking to f with them is slimmer. The problem with this method is that if something were to happen, you are secluded and generally helpless outside of your own self defense. I have seen homeless people make tents out of tarp and suction cups and sleep under store fronts, bridges, bushes, trees, parked cars, you name it, anywhere they can find they will sleep. Remember, if you are asleep outside someplace you are libel to be hassled, no matter what time of day.
Therefore, you can always look for a place to sleep inside. Some call this breaking and entering so be careful where you sleep. You could be arrested. i have slept in abandon houses, houses for sale, and college dorms during the off season, but you can sleep in barns, sheds, treehouses, basicly anywhere you can get in from the elements while not causing a scene.

Categories: Methods that work | 10 Comments

Making Money

Craigslist is a great place to find day labor under the table jobs like moving furniture, or painting a fence. Really any classified ad is a good place to start. There are day labors in every city just about, ask a homeless person where to find one if you are hurting for cash. Sometimes they will feed you in the process. But these are long hard hours, and you dont get paid enough for your hard work.

If you have nothing better to do with your life, cans and bottles will make you money. But while you are at it, pick up every penny you see on the sidewalk, pick up every scratched off lottery ticket and double check it, (sometimes drunk people scratch them off but cant figure out the rules and toss them not realizing they won) pick up cok3 caps, and sell them online, sell scrap metal, sell your time on craigslist, sell your soul on ekbay, sell the world to aliens on a cb radio, there are a million ways to make money, use your head.

There is always street performing. I saw a guy once holding a radio playing music, and lip singing to it, at the line for the Ellis island ferry. He was actually making money! This made me think. Technically you can just ask for money, but why not do something entertaining for it? Like read a book out loud. Since ive seen several street performers, and they all do something anyone can do (for the most part) so i think when i got some free time, ill give it a whirl. Although talking to some of them, in some areas they have to have city permits, otherwise they get slapped with hefty fines. (what kind of bull crap is that?)

my friend vegasjay rented a 70$ gorilla suit, and got tourists to take a picture with the gorilla for 5$ a pop, he banked on that one, and think about the naked cowboy, play guitar naked on roller skates, and people will pay you. Theres a million things you can do for cash.

which brings up another suggestion i heard today. If you can find a willing significant other, and a cheap ring (maybe from a thrift store or something) you can always propose as a scam to get things for free. People love lovers, especially newly weds, so take a knee whenever wherever, even get some resteraunt staff in on it, you might even get better seats at that event you have been wanting to go to.

While were on the subject of scams, you can also purchase (or dive depending) some military camo, then wear it, clean shaven and stroll around and see if you can pray off of peoples patritisim. The other day i really wanted to go to the top of the empire state buildinng, (for the elevator ride) but it was outrageously 18$ per person! At the bottom of the sign it said discount with military id, and free for men and women in uniform. So i went back the next day shaved, and in uniform, no joke i got escorted to the front of a 2 hour line, they didnt even check my id, and escorted directly up and down the buildinng.  When i came down, i even got an elevator all to myself! It was fantastic! So keep that in mind

Categories: Methods that work | 6 Comments

free organic greece

scored a 15$ 5 star 3 course meal at a fancy shmancy greek place tonight, by asking the owner if he could use some kitchen help for a plate of food. He got all smilly and told me to take his best seat, and he treated me to the above, no work involved. He was so happy to be helping someone in need, i think his mouth touched his earlobes. Go figure. I stuffed my face and had enough left over for a second meal tomorrow.

There was an organic consumers convention in baltimore a few months ago, you had to own an organic-friendly buisness, and pay 300 bucks for a stupid electronic pass to get into the thing. So i waited around in the lobby for an hour or two and sure enough someone set their badge down on a table and walked off. So i took it. I just walked right past security as they happily swiped it, and let me in.

Once inside, the first table i went to saw the name on my tag, and questioned if i was really bob or dan or whatever his name was. They said i should have been a little older. Same thing at the next table. Turns out i had swipped a badge of a 65ish year old man who was the founder of a whole foods like market on the west coast. He was one of the biggest names at the convention. Which i found out form a rad girl my age who worked for seventh generation. (whom im in love with now, but i fall in love to easy) So from then on out i just told people i was his grandson, and he told me to try out their products. To see if he would carry them in his store. Thats when i got wayy more free stuff. It pays to be related to a celebrity.

I got soo much free stuff i couldnt stand up. I met all the wonderufl people who created the products all us organic consumers love to death, even met dave and berry the creators of honest tea, the best bottled tea on the planet. I told them i thought so, and they gave me a bunch of free tea, and a high five!

when i left, i gave my badge to a group of bike messengers and told them to say they were his other son. I hope they went back. All that free stuff was going to be tossed out. Go figure.

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Cooking

Of course there is lots of food out there that doesnt need to be cooked to be consumed, but when cooking is either vital or just makes your meal taste that much better, having a method to cook your food comes in handy.

zipl0ck baggies seal heat in, and if you place it on say the dashboard of your car in the sun for a hour or two, your food will be piping hot and ready to eat in the military they actually cook food on the radiatior of a just recently driven humvee, i dont know if my radiator would cook my food, but some tin foil, and a few blocks of driving might do the trick.

most convienece stores and gas stations have microwaves. They are all over the place if you look for them.

friend…”It is easy to make a temporary stove out of tin cans. You can use anything from gleaned paper and small sticks to sterno, or candles to make heat. There are even small fold up stoves on http://www.sportsmanguide.com for under 20 bucks if you want something to have for a longer period of time, but tin cans are everywhere.” – Judith756

friend…”Candle stoves are pretty easy. Take a large tin can or coffee can and poke a bunch of holes in the sides. Then nail three or four long nails through the bottom (so that the pointy ends are inside the can) and spear some long emergency candles onto them. Light the candles and place your bowl or pan or whatever on top of the can. The holes in the sides will provide the flames with oxygen. This takes a really long time to cook with, but it’ll do in a pinch.” – hellparadiso

Categories: Methods that work | 6 Comments

Clothes

Clothes are not optional in the majority of urban united states. Unfortunately. therefore you must pack them for your travels. What you pack depends on a variety of different things.

If you venture to a warm climate, shorts and skirts might be more appropriate. as would sandles.

whereas a cold climate you will need warmer clothes to wear lots of layers. Layers are the key, big imobile coats wont do you justice. You can improvise layers with newspaper, or anything that can puff out your clothing. This is not about fashion. If you are into fashion, dont become homeless. As all your clothes must serve some purpose.

From a friend…”If you’re just road tripping, only take a few changes of clothes and LOTS of underwear and socks.  I learned this when I backpacked around Europe a little.  Unless you get really dirty, clothes can last you several days without having to be washed.  Underwear is another story…

Also, if you want room in your suitcase or backpack for souviners or whatever, pack your oldest, most worn out underwear and socks.  Then as you wear them, throw them out.  Instant room!” – starving_artist

Clothes should be durable, lightweight, warm, dry, match your situation or character (see the food section) in case you have to look a certain way to be someplace, and clean 9as much so as possible, cause again, nobody likes a smelly bum.) ((except my friend lilac. she seems to find them exoticly attractive.))

When packing clothes, the best space saving way to pack them is to roll them up. This method not only saves you space in your pack, but also keeps them relatively wrinkle free

Clothes can double as napkins, bandages, satchels, rope, weapons, life jackets, shelter, and several other things depending. So chose your clothes wisely.

You can find clothes in several places, but the best place is donation centers. These can be churches, goodwills, shelters, etc. Dumpsters turn out their fair share of clothing, as do lost and found departments. Dont be afraid to take some more clothes and switch out your wardrobe whenever feasible. You can always change your wardrobe in a goodwill. leave your old clothes and change into new ones. then put your old ones back on a rack so as to not look suspicious.

Some people steal clothes, but there really is no need to. They can be found for realitively cheap, or free in multitudes of places. Thrift stores and army navy stores are the best though. and be sure to check their donation bins during off hours. You will be supprised how much you can obtain this way. The signs generally say please do not leave clothes out front or outside bins during non-buisness hours, and therefore its not stealing. its cleaning up after ignorant people.

Categories: Methods that work | 2 Comments

Laundromats

Probably the most useful places on earth for homeless, besides the library.

Why?

You can clean your laundry, fill your water bottles, find an electrical outlet to plug in a computer, or cell phone, take a bird bath, take a dump, charge youre electronics, search for change (from under the machines, and inside the machines as well), collect clothing (from lost and found piles, if not downright take some depending on your morals) Rest for a good few hours as a patron, and not get hassled, meet hot women, and in some cases get on the internet all in the same place.

Chat it up with locals, and get info from them on a number of things, even perhaps a good meal if you play your cards right, and in some movie script cases, a date! Whats not to love about laundromats?

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Recipes for cheap

Beans and rice are a complete protein combination so it is an excellent source of low fat protein.

3.3 cent breakfeast.
http://www.kurtsaxon.com/foods002.htm

friend…”Chicken livers.  A carton costs about a dollar.
Boil them in either chicken broth or water, add salt and pepper to taste.
Eat them with homemade whole wheat bread and a glass of milk.
You will not be hungry for many hours.  Just a small amount of chicken liver is enought to satisfy your appetite, and it is a very strengthening food.
Eggs are my second choice.” -lazarus

 

friend…”on days long hiking/camping trips, (back when I did such things) we’d bring a small mesh bag 1/4 filled with seeds and wet it regularly, then it overflows with yummy sprouts. no need to tote jars and such. a bag works very well and drains better.
alfalfa spouts are the norm in grocery stores, but I prefer broccoli sprouts and if you can find a nice mix of seeds with red clover and radish, its zesty and really good like on sandwiches and such.” -isabellauren

http://www.camprecipes.com/

http://hungryforamonth.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_hungryforamonth_archive.html

friend…”Buy a big bag of potatoes, eggs, oil or butter, some cheap cut of meat and/or cheese if you have enough.  With a few inexpensive veggies (and ramen, of course) it can keep you going.  Pasta is very cheap, and so is oatmeal, and you can get dozens of meals for pennies each from them.” – terra

friend…”Try going to  markets that cater to ethnic communities. The rice noodles I used to pay 2.79 for are 99 cents at the big Asian supermarket, 79 cents on sale, and there is always a brand on sale. This is for a 1 pound package. The vegetables are handled with greater care there, are much fresher and the prices can be way better on what is exotic to us. For ex, Chinese broccoli is usually half the price of what it is at the chain supermarket. Chestnuts, precooked and peeled in package are 99 cents as opposed to 5 dollars or more at the chain market. At the small Indian market, the beans and spices are sold in much larger packages. The spices are much cheaper, even for unusual spices. The beans are usually exotic (to me) but priced very fairly. In fact, most of the things seemed to be priced fair there.” – dive and thrive

Categories: Methods that work | 7 Comments

Water

The most useful, and predominant item you will need. You need it to shower, to wash your clothes, your dishes, and filter your body. Where can you find it? Just about everywhere. When you cant find it, you will be in trouble. Therefore everytime you are near some, take some. Always have as much water on you as you can carry. There is never too much water you should have on your body. Fill several nalgines, (classy water bottles) or any bottle you can find with it. You never know when you might not have any access to fresh water.

Drinking water can be found in libraries, schools, resteraunts, grocery stores, parks, laundrymats shopping malls, and some fresh water streams (if need be iodine or chlorine tablets can be used to purify water you feel might be contaminated which you can pick up at any army navy store ((army navy stores are a homeless persons dream shop, scour them with great pride.)))

Water to wash up in can be found in any public place. I prefer handicaped restrooms to be used as bird baths (sponge baths) as the privacy and space can be idealy used. But you can wash up just about any place you have access to some water. make sure to hit the private parts when possible, these places (under arms, groin, buttocks, feet, and face) get the most dirty, and you always want to have a clean appearance. Clean bums get more privlidges than dirty ones. Nobody likes oder.

Showers can be found for a few bucks at YMCA’s, colleges (sometimes) parks, truck stops, and public pools. You can also find a friend rather easily who might be willing to let you shower. Couchsurfing.com is a great place to start.

Washing your clothes can be done in a clean river, a laundrymat, a pool at night, a bucket of water, etc.

Categories: Methods that work | 6 Comments

Food

Food is the most abundant, yet most needed nutriant (apart from water) your body needs in order to function. Do not deprive yourself of food, cause you dont have any money. There are several places you can find free food.

First and foremost, just ask for it. Yes just ask for it. There are a few methods that will get you food this way that you should be willing to try. First off. Dress the part of your audiance. (I.E. if you are trying to get food from truckers, passing as a hitchiker, is a good idea. If you are trying to get food from a blue collar buisness owner, dress liek a blue collar worker who is down on their luck. If you are trying to get food from a 5 star resteraunt, dress as fancy as possible and complain about everything)

How to ask for food is an art form. Some people will ask the store owners if they can rummage through the trash in the back without making a mess, and often times the owner will be embarrassed by this, and just give you food. Others make up this ellaborate story of how they are down on their luck and traveling, and yadda yadda yadda, but be careful with this method as most people are impatient with bums and mooches, and will refuse you anything. The most successful method is to offer to work off a meal. Sometimes they wont even have you work, but will be so supprised you want to work for it, they will give it to you free of charge. No work involved.

some tips on asking for a handout are…

always ask for something lower grade than what youre shooting for, for example, if you want a soda, say you want a cup of water, (if they dont upgrade you, you can always fill up at the soda fountain like they care anyway) another example is some friends swear by the approach of just asking the people if you can sift through their trash, and mention you are traveling through town. they say the owners generally give you stuff rather than have you out back diving.

look semi-clean. nobody likes a smelly bum anywhere, be polite, and friendly, and accept defeat if you dont get anything. there are plenty of other places to ask.

managers, and franchises are less likely to give handouts as opposed to one of a kind and mom and pop places.

dont hold up the line chit chatting, wait till the line dies down, and if it doesnt, go elsewhere. Lurching about not buying anything is a bad idea.

A friend recommends “don’t pass up any church function – Tell em you’re hungry and smelled their chili supper or pancake or fishfry-ask if you could help with the dishes or clean up- for a plate of food- and stand by afterwards waddle back to your bike -if they’ll let you leave-

If you’re living in a campground at a lake or park- Ask the weekenders if you could have any leftovers they may have- don’t forget to ask for the alum. cans! Do this Early Sun Morn. I’ve been given the entire camp- tent, cooler and all” Gnarlychattles.

Another friend said “I used to hang out at local fishing spots where a lot of people went everyday and when I saw someone throw a legally keepable fish back then I’d ask if they could let me have the next one or two that they might catch. They always said yeah and that they loved to catch fish but not clean or cook or eat them.” – ursusdave

Friend…”A lot of commercial growers will let you glean. Sometimes you have to do it through an organization, or you can just ask. They can’t get everything in the field, and a lot of times they can’t sell everything. When I lived in WA, I was part of a gleaning network–we would go pick great apples, cherries, plums, and all kinds of things. My kids and I picked a few hundred pounds of apples and made them into cider, pies, ate fresh, etc. We also got potatoes one time. Some gleaning programs get all of the excess food from stores and distribute it to the members. A note about the corn–sometimes a few rows of corn on the outside are feed corn, not sweet corn, so make sure you get the right stuff.” – terra

local markets are good places to find cheap food as well, if not wait till its over and dive the bins. People toss tons of stuff away that they didnt sell durring the weekend.

If you dont want to ask you can swipe it. This is a little different than stealing in that, you just walk in, take what is offered to the public free, and make out like a bandit. For example. You can walk into any free continental breakfast serving hotel and act like you spent the night. Chances are the night shift switched out long before the breakfast is served and therefore the front desk has no idea if you stayed there or not. Take as much as you can eat and stuff into a baggy. The same goes for taking free samples at grocery stores and displays in the mall or wherever you find them. Take as much as you want, who cares? If the place can afford to have them you can take them all if you like. Go to the deli and ask for a slice of a couple diffrent meats & cheese. Resteraunts often have free salad and breadsticks. Eat them while drinking water, and leave, (leaving a few bucks for the waitress if you like, after all its not her fault she has to serve a bum). College campuses have tons of free food especially around orentation week. If you look like a student, not only can you eat lots of free food, but mingle right and you can han gout at parties, and maybe even go home with a few dates!

There is always dumpster diving. Grocery stores, drug stores, basicly anywhere that serves or offers food is free game to dumpster dive. There is food out there for the taking, you just have to get over the ick factor. Food from the trash is subject to the five senses test. Inspect it throughly, and you will be fine. And if you eat something bad, your body can handle itself. You might vomit, but at least you got some nutrients. Although ive been eating out of the trash for close to two years now, and have never vomited from anything i ate out of the trash. I actually eat better out of the trash than if i had to pay for my food. My favorite places to dive are co-ops, and local organic food chains. There you can find the best food for your body for free. Becareful about diving though, conflicts with shop owners and cops are common. be respectful, and leave when they ask you to. And come back when you feel it is safe again. Most people turn their head when they spot a diver. The ick factor is a nice buffer. Use it to your advantage but be careful. Dont overdue it. And get yourself in trouble.

Pick up an edible plant guide, and you will be surprised at the infinate number of common plants and weeds you can digest safely. While youre at it, pick up an edible animal/insect guide with steps on how to dress them as well. Most animals are edible.

You can steal food if you are desperate, but I dont recommend it. If you do steal food, there are guides online on how to steal without getting caught. But the problem with shoplifting is it becomes addictive, and when you get addicted, you get caught. So use it only when you have no other choice.

Eating food others leave behind is a good idea as well. You spot half a sandwich, you can eat it. if you are worried about germs, take lots of vitamin c. Or rip off the bitten off part. And just eat the rest.

there is soo much food out there for the taking, you should never go hungry.

Big cities vs small cities. In big cities you can steal more food, and eat more food off the tables. But you are less likely to get a free meal by asking for it. There is too much competition with other crafty homeless people and generally store owners are over the initial luster of the idea of generosity.

small cities, you are less likely to get away with shoplifting, but you can get a long way by mingling and feeding off of american generosity.

Categories: Methods that work | 6 Comments

Cops

Never ever consider a weary cop a friend. Cops hate homeless people, and I think its due to the nature of their job. Cops are not hired to protect people, their job is to protect private property. Therefore homeless do not own private property, and are scum deamed to be fucked with for this fact. The best thing you can do to an inquisitive cop is approach them first with legit blue collar question. “Can you tell me where the nearist bank is? I need to make a deposit.” “Where is the best mechanic shop arround?” these type of questions establish you as a worthy citizen of society, and generally the cop will change their mind about you in an instant. Cops are tools. They are nto your friend, but dont make them your enemy. If you anger a cop, you are lible to have a miserable time. So kiss their ass, and be polite, then take your frustrations out on a pillow as soon as they leave. Because although you can learn alot of useful street information in jail, you most likely dont want to be in there.

***Tips that will keep you out of jail.

1) Do your best to avoid going out in public intoxicated or high. If you get hassled and you are all messed up, your chances of going to jail are increased 10 fold.

2) DO NOT RUN!!!! Never ever ever in any circumstances run from a cop. This will do a number of things. a) Make the cop want to chase you. They live for that stuff. They dream of chasing criminals. Thats what they joined the force to do. b) make you look suspicious. why else would you run unless you have something to hide? c) increase your chances of being arrested or detained in handcuffs. you may be fast, but cops have instant radio communications. And you may outrun one cop, but there is another cop waiting for you in every direction. They absolutely love to chase suspects. And once they catch you d) your chances of getting hurt in an arrest increase. as now the pigs adrinelin is pumping, and all those drills they go through day after day, of taking suspects and manhandeling them to the ground, and kicking the shit out of them, for making the cop chase them come out of their pores. e) lessen your chances of coming away scott free. Even if you were doing something illegal, or have contraband on your person, DO NOT RUN!!! You will have a better chance of getting off if you dont run. (In and out of court)

3) Dont give in. (And shut the fuck up) Cops are trained in pressuring suspects into thinking the cops know the suspect was doing something illegal. Truth is, unless you are positive they saw you, they are most likely just suspicious (since that is their job to investigate suspicious activity) and investigating either a call or they drove by and saw you and had that gut feeling you were up to no good. Dont let them search your things if you have something illegal in there. If they do anyway, or tell you they will take you to jail if you dont, let them take you to jail. If they search it without your permission, you can bust them with illegal search and seizure. Which can toss your case out in court. (sometimes they are really good at pressuring and will threaten you will all sorts of things. I.E. jail, detainment, brute force, etc.) Also, if you are toating something illegal, weapons, drugs, lots of money etc. whatever you do double check your shit all the time to make sure its not showing. If a cop stops you and your bag is open and he sees what appears to be weed, and smells it on you, he now has probable cause, and is legally allowed to search and sieze your shit, and bust you for it. (AND HE WILL)

4) KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT IN THE OPEN AT ALL TIMES!!!! Never under any circumstances do anything without asking the officer for permission to do so. You have to get your id out of your glove box or backpack, first tell the cop where it is, then ask him if you can get it out of there, and allow him to watch you do so. The last thing you want to do is put a cop on edge. They will shoot if threatened, and noone wants a bullet in the lung because they neglected to ask for permission to retrive an id card.

5) Always address the law as such, “Yes officer” “no sir, i wasnt doing drugs” “may i get my id card out of my console?”  “Im not from around here officer, I got lost, can you tell me which way is ….?” etc. Sucking up to the pigs gets you on their good side. And once you are on their good side, they come down off their high horse, (most of them) and treat you like an everyday citizen.

Most people dont know this, but cops have a quota not only for tickets every month (to pay for christmas bonuses and such), but also citizen support write offs. Every month the office dictates how many times a cop must actively help citizens in need, its a sort of good guy cop appeal to the law abiding citizens to help establish the force as more of an approachable berring between good and evil. For example, if you get aflat tire, a cop can stop and assist you, and write it off as one of these citizen assist tickets. If you are lost, ask for directions form a cop. They can write it off. It is manditory in most cop stations, and by twisting a situation arround you can actually help the cop out, in which case they may let you off. (for example, you are walking around at night in a downtown city street. Tell the cop you are trying to catch a cab, but couldnt find a payphone. Trying to get to a certain street, a hotel anything. And they will automatically let down their guard.

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Fellow men and women

I stumbled upon another man living in his car last night, he was sound asleep with a smile on his face, and i knew that he was proud of the fact this small ton of steal real estate was all he needed to be happy. Later i trucked through a small commune of drug intoxicated homeless people baking on some train tracks near where i parked. They were disgruntled, and looked like they were going crazy. There are two types of homeless. Those who choose to be, and those who become due to outside forces they either can or cannot control. but i suppose there are those same type of home dwelling people. Which one are you?

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Where to start?

Quit your job. Punch your jack-ass boss in the face for making you slave over benighn meaningless bullshit day after day of your wasted life. After all, why do we work? To pay rent? Find yourself a backpack, and a pair of closed-toed shoes, as well as sandels. Three changes of clothes, and several water bottles.

All this subject to change depending on you.

For example if you have a car, you can plan on sleeping in it, and having extra space to store items you think you may need. But keep in mind, a car is more expensive than a backpack, and therefore is still a bill. It takes gas, oil, and other fluids which need upkeep, it is liable to breakdown or pop a tire, and it cost money to park in some cases. Take this into consideration, you will have to work harder to maintain a vehicle, but it will do more for you in the end.

after all, you can venture out farther, collect more stuff to sell, and have more privacy, as well as be removed from the elements. All of which is harder on foot, but not impossible.

Once you have decided your method of transportation, (usually a combination of the two) you now need to figure out how to survive.

Categories: Methods that work | 7 Comments

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